8x02: Dean
by Metrical
Summary: Dean is in an emotional battlefield. His constantly flaming desire for Gemma and his ongoing battle with his own personality is driving him crazy. It's beginning to affect the way he acts, or maybe it has been doing so for a very long time... But what if it wasn't him? What if something much deeper made him the way he is?
1. Chapter 1

**SKINS – GEN 4 – SERIES 8 – 8.02: DEAN**

**Hello friends and welcome to a new episode of Skins! It has been a while since we've had a new episode and after all the colossal chaos of the last episode, it's time to pull it down to a more personal level and I think that is just what Episode 2 is going to do. So I hope you all enjoy, 8.02: Dean!**

* * *

The jagged iron fist connected straight with the heavy red bag making it convulse as it flew backwards into the air. The air rippled past Dean's arm, swiftly smacking him in the face.

Dean stood poised against a heavy red punching bag. Shirt off, bare fists and he was swinging away. His face was blood red as sweat gushed off his face and down onto his chest.

He threw his left hand down and swung his right hand across colliding it with the red sack once again. The red bag stood solid, angry and firm, it wasn't going to easily accept the punches, so Dean had to ensure that it would.

He delivered 4 swift straight punches before smoothly blowing an upper cut and then wrapping his left arm round the bag delivered his right fist directly to the center of the bag, making it crumple against his weight.

Dean dropped to one knee, placing his hands against the floor as he panted. He got to his feet and kicked directly up at the bag before leaving the training room.

He walked into the kitchen sliding on his singlet. He looked on top of the fridge at the cereal range and shook his head. He opened the fridge, and was still unsatisfied. Then he opened the pantry and closed it once again with a sigh.

"Do you want me to make you something?" came a voice from behind Dean.

Dean turned around to see his Mum standing there in her dressing gown.

Dean shook his head, "Nah, not hungry." He said.

"You sure?" she said walking to the cupboards, "I could whip up some eggs, maybe an omelet."  
Dean raised an eyebrow, "Why are you so determined to make me breakfast? You don't do this. In fact why are you even up this early?"  
Simone shrugged with a smile, "You gotta find a way to start the day. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, did you?" asked Dean.

"Yeah, I did." Said Simone getting things out of the pantry.

"Then why have you got bags under your eyes?" asked Dean.

Simone paused for a moment before turning around, "Oh, you know, late nights, I guess."  
"Were you and Dad fighting again?" asked Dean.

Simone paused, "Dean, honestly, where do you get these presumptions? I mean it's a few baggy eyes and you relate it to fight-"  
"Did he fight with you?"  
Simone stood silently still, her face dropped but Dean had noticed that her eyes weren't fixed on him anymore. Dean looked behind him to see his Dad standing in the living room.

Phil had always had an ugly, screwed up face, it always looked as if a skunk had gone off in his face, and from the living room he firmly scowled over the two of them. "Dean," he said nodding, as he walked past him into the kitchen. "Simone," he said firmly, "I need my clothes ironed for today, could you go and do them for me?" he asked.

"Oh," said Simone snapping back into reality, "I was just going to-"

"Go and iron the clothes Simone," Said Phil firmly staring at her. Simone quickly nodded and hurried up stairs leaving just Dean and Phil.

Dean turned around to face his Dad, "You didn't have to-"

"Weren't you ever taught not to stick your nose where it don't belong?" Said Phil deeply as his mustache tremored back and forth.

Dean frowned, "I dunno Dad, did you ever teach me?"  
"Oh pardon me Dean, appears I forgot, let me teach you now." Phil brought the back of his hand directly across Dean's face in a quick movement. "Understand now?"  
Dean held his face bristling with anger and struggling to not show it. "What if it concerns me?"  
"If I tell ya it concerns you, then it concerns you, if I don't, then it don't. Get it?"  
shouted Phil now bright red.

"Yes," said Dean quietly.

"Right," said Phil, "Good, now go to college."  
"But college isn't for a…"  
"Did I stutter, when I said 'go to college'?" asked Phil.

"No." said Dean.

"Then go to college!" he screamed at Dean.

Dean grabbed his bag and went outside the house and slammed the door. Dean stamped his foot on the pathway before heading off to college.

* * *

Dean sat on the train uncomfortably. No matter how much he shuffled, he just couldn't get comfortable. He made disgruntled sounds as he moved around and continually through his head forward as he screwed up his face.

The train slid to a halt as he was moving right and he slid and hit his elbow on the barrier.

"Ah shit!" he exclaimed under his breath, muttering to himself as he grabbed his elbow.

He looked up to see an old lady sitting opposite him, shivering in fear and clutching her handbag tightly.

"What?" he said angrily, "What's wrong, I was just repositioning myself."

"H-hardly seemed like that to me." She stuttered out nervously.

Dean rolled his eyes, "I just hit my elbow and it hurt, that's all."  
"I don't mean that," she said, "I mean the fact that you screamed and punched the pole. I was terrified."

Dean frowned as he looked up at her, "What are you talking about? I didn't punch the pole."  
The old lady nodded rapidly, "You most certainly did."  
Dean stared at her for a minute about to speak again, but then shook his head. "Whatever," he said. He got to his feet and went to get off the train. As he was exiting the carriage, he got pulled back, but no one was pulling him…

He noticed his hand still gripped to the door of the train, but it was more than a grip, it was a clench, he was crushing the door with his hand.

There was a whistle and one of the conductors came to Dean, "Hey! Quite pissing around kid, either get off or stay on, we need to move."  
Dean shook his head, "Sorry," he said. He released his hand and stepped off the train. But as the doors shut he noticed a silver outline where his hand had been.

Dean frowned and looked back at his hand, which was furiously red. What the hell was going on?  
Dean slammed his palms against his forehead and ran it down his face. He covered his face as he began to walk, this was just weird… he didn't need this; he certainly didn't need this today. _'Just get out'_ he said to himself _'Just ignore it and go.'_ And he did.

* * *

Dean sat in English, one of the first ones in. He didn't want to talk to anyone, he just wanted to sit there and then get out of the lesson, the sooner he could get away from people the better, or maybe it was the opposite, maybe he needed someone to talk to, who would bring him back to ground level, bring Dean back out. But who was Dean?

The Dean that wasn't silent and writhing with anger was the Dean who was obnoxious, arrogant, narcissistic, and a class A dick. Is that who he wished he were instead?

Paulie slammed his books down next to Dean making him shudder. "You are never going to believe it, absolutely fantastic thing happened last night." He said.

"So it was Team Fortress Tuesday, so I was upstairs locked away in my little den…" Dean began to roll his eyes.

"I had my pizza and what not so I was fine just playing all night, till about 10:30, usually when Dad starts heading off to bed and the doorbell rings. It wasn't anything to do with me, but I went to look out the bathroom window just to see who it was."  
Paulie bit his lip bouncing anxiously, "It was a girl, like a proper girl, like a twenty something with melon-sized knockers and bleach blonde hair, ok maybe that's not a proper girl, but anyway… it was a girl who said she was from down the road and said she had fallen over and hurt herself and she needed help. Weird, right? Anyway, Dad lets her in and gets out the first aid kit and begins to prep it up and he's lifting her shirt up looking for the injury and she's all like 'Lower… Lower… Lower.' And then next thing you know she's pounced on top of Dad, tryna rip his shirt off and shove her tits in his face and he properly freaks out like throwing her off and saying 'What the devil?' and all and he yells at me and calls me down telling the story, thinking I'm responsible, cause he thinks I ordered her…" Paulie was about to burst at this point, "You got it yet? She was a prostitute! HAHAHA! Like a proper prostitute who was paid to come and make it seem real, turns out someone from a different street ordered her and she got the addresses mixed up and she went for Dad, you should've seen the look on his face, fantastic!"  
Dean sat still as ever, unmoved by the story, "So did you finally pop your cherry then?" he asked.

Paulie scoffed, "No! You totally missed the point of that story; some random hooker jumped Dad. I didn't call her because I wanted my first bone, bloody hell."

Dean screwed his eyes up, "Look, Paulie, can you please just, shut the fuck up."  
Paulie sat there for a minute looking at Dean, "Right thanks then dick." He said.

"I'm sorry," said Dean sighing. He turned to Paulie; "I'm just, not in the mood today. I just… Well I wanna do work without talking, is that alright?"

Paulie shook his head, "You never wanna do work."  
Dean shrugged turning back to the front, "Well it's final year, maybe I should start."

Paulie shook his head once more, "No," he repositioned himself, "I didn't make myself clear. You never want to do work, regardless."  
Dean frowned at Paulie, "Yeah well don't you wish I sometimes did?"  
Paulie pulled back and stopped talking; he faced the front but still had a concerned face, keeping his right eye locked on Dean.

Dean started to write down what was on the board. But he barely had written the first sentence when his temple flared up. He let out a cry of pain and struck his hand straight up they're smacking the forehead straight on, but nothing… He went back to writing.

His head continued to thump as his mind whispered to him, what happened on the train? What's wrong with you? What happened last night with Mum and Dad? Why is everything so damn hard?

"Didn't expect more." Said a voice behind him. Dean shook his head and looked over his shoulder at Ms. Rogers standing behind him looking at his book.

"What?" said Dean.

"Exactly." Said Ms. Rogers, "Oh I'm not angry; it's your life you're messing up; not mine."  
Dean turned back to his book and looked at the three lines he had written. Then scoffed, "Cut me some slack, it's only the start of the lesson."  
"Start of the lesson?" said Ms. Rogers, "We've got about 4 minutes left."

Dean frowned and looked at the clock to see she wasn't lying, the bell was going to go in just over 4 minutes. Dean threw his hands up, "Oh come on," he said, "I looked literally like 3 minutes ago and we were barely a quarter of the way through."  
"I thought you'd be happy we'd be finished." Said Ms. Rogers shrugging, "Eh, like it matters."  
The bell rang and Dean was still sitting his seat, thinking about the fact that he had completely missed a whole period.

"Come on!" said Paulie, motioning towards the door.

Dean grabbed his stuff and head out into the corridor.

"Were you alright in there, mate?" asked Paulie.

Dean didn't look at him just down the corridor, "Yeah, course, why do you ask?"  
Paulie shrugged, "Maybe it's the fact you spent half the lesson having mini convulses, I half thought you were having a seizure, or keeping down some new drug."

"I was not having convulses you twat," said Dean, "and I'm sober right now, not something I'm awfully happy about."  
"Yeah, sure." Said Paulie. He started twitching his right hand. Dean looked over as Paulie started to smack himself on the cheek. He let out a disgruntled groan as he grabbed his hair and pulled on it, pulling his head down and letting out a chortle.

Dean smacked him in the stomach, "Will you stop? It was not that bad."  
Paulie smirked, "Yeah it was."  
Dean sighed, "Look, I'm just, I'm going through some things, I'm being driven around the fucking loony bin by everything. It's giving me… It's giving… Fuck, What's the word?" Exclaimed Dean.

"Anxiety?" suggested Paulie.

Dean stared down the hallway and froze, he saw her, in a new fedora. Denim jacket and black latex pants, firmly cupped around her bum. She held her body in a certain way, which presented itself as an object that couldn't be reached. The guy she was chatting to at the locker was almost drooling.

Gemma looked either way and pushed him against the locker, placing her lips on his and half eating his nose in the process. Her hands immediately slid down the back of his jeans and clawed at his bum. But almost the second she started it, she pulled her hands out and smacked him across the face, before walking away like nothing had happened.

The guy stood dumbfounded at the whole scenario, but incredibly aroused. Just as Gemma had planned.

Dean let out a sigh of pain, "I've got the word," he said, "whiplash."  
Paulie frowned staring at Dean, "I really don't think that's the word you're looking for."

"No I think it definitely is." Said Dean, "It's incredibly painful, out of nowhere and strikes you in your weakest place without even trying."

"Right," said Paulie, "Well when you're done rubbing your neck, or whatever other part of your body you want to rub, come meet us on the green, yeah?"  
"Sure." Said Dean.

As Paulie walked off, Dean pivoted and started smacking his head against the locker, "Don't do this to yourself," he muttered under his breath, "Don't do this!"

He took a deep breath and looked at his reflection in the locker, flustered with both arousal and attraction.

"Just cut it out," said Dean, "Go back to normal, when you walk away now, you go back to Dean, being a fucktard is better than being this. You are not gonna be insane today."

Dean looked to his right to see a short girl in a sweater with an eyebrow raised at him.

Dean frowned, "Oh get off it will you?" he spat, "You may think I'm nuts, but chances are I've probably fucked you."  
She shook her head, "I'm gay," she said as she walked away.

Dean turned around and walked the other direction, "Of course you are, why is every girl in this school fucking gay?"  
A Pain in Dean's stomach burst forward, he moved his right hand to grab the wall as the anxiety in his stomach tried to melt it's way out of his stomach.

"Of course," said Dean, "No wonder they are. How could they resist. I suppose you make everyone in this place feel like this, don't you Gem."

* * *

_Not off to a great start for Dean :( But that doesn't make it all downhill for him. You're gonna find out what's going on very soon, I have a feeling you guys will quite like this one :) I hope you keep reading. Chapter 2 up soon!_


	2. Chapter 2

**SKINS – GEN 4 – SERIES 8 – 8.02: DEAN**

**Hello again lovely children! Thanks for your patience as I deal with loads of annoying work that is quite persistent. I thought it'd been a while since I wrote and so I made some time tonight to write for you and so here is Chapter 2 of Episode 8.02: Dean!**

* * *

"It sounds like the place where old people go to die." Said Gemma.

"It's not!" said Hayley, "It's really not! It's lovely! It's like some houses and a main street and we have a beach all to ourselves, we could go… climbing or surfing during the day and then bonfires and fireworks in the night."  
"I want to be wasted in the night and passed out in the day." Said Kelly with a cunning smile.

Gemma smiled, "Cheers to that!"

"Are there even any clubs?" asked Kelly.

"Why would you want to go clubbing?" asked Hayley frowning, "We have clubs here in Bristol."

"Oh sweet, innocent, soft as a marshmallow Hayley," said Kelly smiling, "You really aren't getting the hang of post-exam parties are you?"

Hayley crossed her arm, "Don't patronize me… bitch."  
"But you are as soft as a marshmallow!" said Kelly throwing her hands out.

Hayley pursed her lips and looked up at Drew who had his arm behind her and smirked, "You know… I've never thought of it like that. You are sort of like a marshmallow."  
Hayley gave him look of sadness, begging for her boyfriend's attention.

Drew sighed, "Look we will find an option that will satisfy everyone from those who want to sit and relax to those who want to end up naked on the middle of the freeway after a very long night. Who knows if we are even doing it yet, we may just doing something nearby for those who would like something much more… affordable." He said nodding.

Sam moaned, "I don't want to have post-exam parties in Bristol, Yuk."  
"Easy for you to say," said Drew, "You don't have to support yourself."  
"Look I don't care about all that," said Gemma, "All I know is feel good, fuck a lot and I don't mean a lot of people I mean closer to the everyone mark and I don't want to remember a damn thing."

Sam rolled her eyes and Dean stared intently as she spoke.

"Like I don't think of you really understand how much sex I want, like my goal is to actually get an STI."  
Paulie pulled a sour face, "Erk! You actually want an STI."

"Sure!" said Gemma, "I'll fix it up afterwards. There's a cure for HIV right?"  
Everyone stared wide-eyed at her as she looked around the circle. "Um…" started Drew.

"Oh my gosh I was kidding, relax, I'll just get one of those minor ones like Herpes or Chlamydia" she said brushing it off.

"Or Genital Warts," said Kelly frowning and shaking her head.

"Ew… not genital warts, that's gross, actually there all pretty gross and I quite like my genitals… NEW PLAN!" She said slamming her spliff on the grass "I'm gonna try and fuck all the innocent ones! I'll be the virginity terminator! HAHA!"  
Drew rolled his eyes and smiled. Everybody kind of sat awkwardly as Gemma left sinisterly to herself. She looked over at Dean, "Up for a challenge big boy?"

Dean shook his head and focused again, "Sorry... What?"

"Virginity taking contest!" said Gemma, "After exams you and me!"

"I don't have my virginity…" said Dean raising an eyebrow.

"No, not you! You big dildo, you and me versing each other to wreck little virgins. You in?" she asked.

Dean could see everyone in the circle trying to look away and Hayley shuffling quite uncomfortably. He looked back to Gemma, "No," he said shaking his head. Gemma frowned as he got to his feet and walked off with his bag slung over his back.

"What's his problem?" asked Gemma frowning.

Hayley shrugged, "Maybe he's going to get some extra notes from the teachers before psychology, which is what I'm going to do now." She said as she got to her feet making Drew slip on his hand and have to rebalance himself.

"What?" said Drew, "Again?"  
"What? I want to get more work to do." Said Hayley.

"You're always working," said Drew, "I hardly get to see you outside of college anymore."

"Yeah, I want to get ahead this year, I want to really focus hard and just make it like my only priority so I can get into a good university next year." She said smiling.

"You're gonna work yourself to death." Said Drew.

Hayley smiled, "I promise we'll organize something soon." She leant down and kissed him on the lips, "Don't wait up."  
Kelly watched her walk off and clicked her tongue, "Anyone else want to go to class now?"  
Everyone except Gemma nodded, "Yeah," they said as they started to get up.

"What!" said Gemma, "Don't go!"  
"Nothing here." Said Sam with a shrug, "We have to go in 10 minutes anyway."  
"You all suck." Said Gemma getting to her feet as she shouted after them, "You all suck cock. Massive cocks! Massive hairy floppy cocks! You're all a gaggle of penii! You hear me! A Gaggle of Penii!"

She stamped her feet as she sighed and turned around to see David Blood raising an eyebrow, "What in the world is a gaggle of penii?"  
"Penii…" said Gemma, "are the tribal inhabitance of the island of… peniance? …and… we have a bunch of them staying out our house!" She said clicking her friends.

"Really?" said Mr. Blood "Huh… Tell your parents they are great contributors within the community," he said with a smile as he walked off down the path with his hands behind his back.

Gemma stood shocked as she watched Mr. Blood walk off, "I can't believe that actually worked." She said. "Hey Sam!" She shouted, "Wait up! Guess what just happened!"

* * *

Dean sat in class rubbing his fingers together; he didn't even try to avoid staring at Gemma. Tony's words were just fluttering past and Gemma was sitting there, just simply talking, not that he could hear what she was saying, but he felt the radiance of her personality, the pure aura of her sex, she was glistening.

Dean grabbed the bridge his nose and pinched it squinting his eyes, trying to get himself to look away but it didn't work.

"…Now these five needs here" said Tony, "are what need to be fulfilled in order to achieve full satisfaction and survival in this world as humans leading from the most important which is physiological needs all the way up to the least important which is self-actualization. Still all-important, but that's the order. And these are what draws us to people, people who can satisfy these needs. If someone can satisfy the physiological needs, food, water, shelter, sex and… Yes, Congratulations you are all officially twelve years old as you just snickered at the word sex. …sex and clothes. Than that will draw us straight to a person so usually family provides most of those needs, and then afterwards comes the security and the emotional needs and really this is how humans achieve happiness, the meaning of life if you will…"  
Dean tried to stop himself. His face was red hot with his palm pressed down against the desk. He felt his anger seething up inside of him as Tony spoke.

"Having the ability to be a resource for others provides power. If you can satisfy one of these physiological needs for someone you have power over them and considering most of these things require money. Those with the most money are generally the most powerful. Let's use one of these as an example… seeing as you all find it hilarious let's use sex."  
Dean squinted his eyes and frowned, he clenched his fist.

"You might have your basic young adult relationship, horny sporty teenaged boy who wears way too much deodorant and dresses like a rat, and his booty-poppin girlfriend who spends her time looking at makeup on eBay. Sorry for the sexist example. Anyway… the girl has power to make the boy do as she says because he will do it in hopes that she will have sex with him. As humans we have such a primal thirst for sex, and lust and this feeling of core love, it's almost addictive, we can't pull ourselves free from it, we become drenched in it and it overwhelms us this exhilarating powerful feeling, and it's quite amazing because sometimes a girl has no idea that using this she can use a boy just like a puppet."  
At that exact moment Dean rose to his feet and flipped his table onto the ground with a might crash. Everyone in the room jumped and turned around, Tony frowned as he looked at Dean. Dean scanned the classroom as all eyes were on him. He tried to excuse himself but couldn't take it anymore. He simply just walked swiftly out of the classroom. He slammed the door behind him, panting heavily as he entered the corridor.

* * *

The corridor was almost empty and Dean sighed at his own performance. He turned around and started smacking his head against the locker. "Dickwad, dickwad, dickwad, dickwad!

He sighed once more with his head resting gently against the locker, while throbbing at the same time.

"Is this some kind of exercise Tony told you to do? Or a punishment?" said a voice next to him.

Dean looked to the right to see Claire standing next to him quizzically looking at him repeatedly smashing his head against a tonne of steel.

"Bit of a… self-control exercise actually." He said, "Cause I'm a fuck. What are you doing out here?"  
"Me, I-ah…" she stopped on the spot and bit her lip, "I was in the bathroom, not… feeling too well… But I'm fine!" she said smiling, "I'm fine."

The two stood awkwardly for a second before Claire turned to head off, "Well I…"

"Claire," said Dean. She stopped and looked at him. "I just wanted to say… I'm sorry, for the end of last term, Gemma was yours and well… I ruined that. If it weren't for me you'd still be together."

Claire smiled to herself looking down, "It's not your fault. It's Gemma's she was the one who didn't really care about other people."  
"I'm sorry though." Said Dean, "It's just sometimes Gemma is… well she can be a bit…"  
"Overwhelming?" suggested Claire.

He looked up into her eyes, "Yeah," he said, "exactly."

Claire smirked, "Believe me, I know the feeling. She doesn't make you feel the way other people make you feel. She makes you feel like your soul is on fire, and that she is just sparkling, like a star not one far away, like a burning hot star right up against you, and you're just not in control."  
"Oh my goodness." Said Dean surprised, "Yes, exactly, Wow, Yes!"

"Yeah… That's what it's like." Said Claire.

"So what are we gonna do about it?" asked Dean.

Claire's smile faded, "Oh…" she said. She tried to open her mouth but ended up closing it and pivoting on the spot before walking away.

Dean watched her walk away before closing his eyes and grunting to himself. He thrust his hand upon the locker next to him but immediately jerked it away when he noticed something… the impact he had made.

He looked over at the locker and saw that he made a small indent in the shape of his hand on the locker.

Dean slid his finger over the indent before throwing his hands up onto his cheeks. They were red hot, he was burning up.

He looked at his reflection in the bubbler, "Is this what I am? Angry all the time? Arrogant? Unaware of other people's feelings? Why am I like this? Why the fuck am I like this!"

Dean sighed before turning around and looking at the room he had stormed out of. He didn't get himself at all, he hated who he was. Dean Winton was a selfish, arrogant and spiteful person, but if he hated that so much why did he persist in doing it? Dean took one last look at the classroom before turning around and walking down the corridor with a sigh.

* * *

_:( U Ok Dean? There's good and bad things for Dean ahead, but to find out what's really going on you're going to have to keep reading! Thanks for reading everyone and for being patient with me, I hope you keep reading 8.02: Dean, Chapter 3 up soon! Let me know what you really think about Dean! Do you love him or do you hate him? Review and let me know! _


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